“When she apologizes for serving me a bran muffin, I’ll be happy to talk to her again.”
While Mr. Ford’s disagreement with the Toronto Star reached new heights this week, reports have come out that the mayor is also refusing to talk to an employee at his local Tim Hortons who botched his order.
“This is the fifth employee that the mayor refuses to talk to” said the shop’s manager, “I’m running out of people that are allowed to take his order.” The reasons that Mr. Ford refuses to deal with these employees range from ‘Too much lettuce on my Bagel B.E.L.T.’ to ‘Looked at me funny at the drive-thru window’.
While some are calling for the mayor to apologize to the employee, Doug Ford came to his brother’s defence. ”He’s standing up for the little guy,” insisted Councillor Ford. ”You talk to people around Toronto, ask them what their number one pet peeve is, and they’ll tell you it’s having their orders screwed up at their local Tim Hortons. It’s about time someone put a stop to this and the mayor is just the man for the job.”
While Councillor Ford was defending his brother, the manager of the Tim Hortons in question took the unusual step of releasing a transcript of one of the mayor’s drive-thru visits, to which Doug Ford replied “Wait a minute… they tape those f*ckin’ things?!”
Start of transcript.
Tim Hortons employee – Welcome to Tim Hortons. May I take your order?
Mayor Ford – Yes, I’d like an extra-large double-double, a Bagel B.E.L.T., easy on the lettuce, and a chocolate milk for Mammoliti. Oh, and a milkshake.
TH Employee - Sir, we don’t have milkshakes.
Mayor Ford - What? Since when?
TH Employee - We’ve never had them sir. We have lasagna now, though.
Mayor Ford - Listen to me… What I want is a chocolate milkshake.
TH Employee - I’m afraid I can’t help you sir.
Mayor Ford - Do you know who I am?! I’m Rob F*cking Ford, the mayor of this city! Now get me a goddamn milkshake… and two orders of lasagna… and a maple doughnut.
TH Employee - I’m afraid we’re out of maple doughnuts, sir. Would you like a maple scone?
Mayor Ford - What the f*ck is a scone?! That’s it – what’s your name smart-ass?!
TH Employee - Surdeep.
Mayor Ford - What?!? What the hell kind of name is that?! I’m calling you ‘Steve’. Let me talk to the manager, Steve.
(there is a pause of several minutes, then the manager comes on.)
Tim Hortons Manager - Yes Mr. Ford? What can I do for you?
Mayor Ford - I don’t want to deal with Steve ever again?! You understand me?!
(sound of mayor’s car taking off quickly from the drive-thru.)
Tim Hortons Manager (in background) - Who the hell is Steve?
End of transcript.
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