“There’s really no other explanation.”

  After Don Cherry offered a heartfelt apology to three ex-NHL tough guys on Saturday night the CBC has found themselves having to deny rumours that it was actually a Don Cherry clone that issued the apology.  Stu Grimson, one of the ex-players who was referred to as a ‘puke’ by Mr. Cherry told reporters “I’ll accept the apology on the condition that it is actually him.  To be honest with you, though, I have my doubts.  The idea that Mr. Cherry would admit he was wrong about something is too far-fetched.  The only rational explanation is that it was some kind of impostor.”

  While it may seem too amazing to believe, evidence is growing that the CBC has been busy developing a clone of the ex-coach ever since he first uttered the word ‘Frenchies’ on national television.  Even Ron Maclean has come forward to call the charges ridiculous, but his reassurances have been thrown into doubt after a bizarre interview with his ‘Coach’s Corner’ partner yesterday.  Suspicious reporters asked Mr. Cherry about the Occupy Toronto protestors and he replied that “while I don’t share their views, I respect their right to protest and think it’s important to have reasonable conversations about the issues that are concerning them.”  He then referred to the protestors as ‘left-wing, bike-riding, upstanding members of society’.

  Although a few CBC insiders have come forward to confirm that Mr. Cherry has indeed been replaced with an exact copy, they differ on what exactly the replica is.  One insider insists that it’s an android and would have been ready years ago but the android refused to dress in Mr. Cherry’s wardrobe.  ”They had to destroy the first one and start all over again” he told reporters.  The other two insiders both say that it’s a biological copy of Mr. Cherry but disagree on how it was created.  One claims that he saw a plantlike pod in Mr. Cherry’s dressing room last Saturday just hours before he was to go on the air.  ”It looked like those pods from ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’” he claims, “except it was covered in a horrible red and yellow plaid pattern.”  The last insider says that CBC staff has spent years growing the clone in a lab and are currently working on one of Kevin O’Leary.  ”Chris Hedges can expect an apology in the next couple of weeks” he said.

Just in case it’s not obvious, I’d like to point out that this article and all articles on this site are intended as satire.  All articles are fiction and fake news.