“I was more baffled than angry. Who uses a fax machine anymore?!”
Mayor Ford is in hot water once again as numerous people have come forward to claim that they spotted him over the Thanksgiving weekend using a fax machine while driving. The accusations come only a week after the mayor was seen using his cell phone while driving for the second time in the last few months. Mr. Ford offered an explanation about the phone call, though. “It was an emergency,” he insisted. “I saw some graffiti in progress and had to call 911. I’ll be honest, I was a bit disappointed in the response time.” Asked what the graffiti was depicting, the mayor said that it looked like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. “Don’t tell Dougie” he requested, “but Tweedle Dum looked a lot like him. I’m not sure who the other one was supposed to be, though.”
Mr. Ford found it a lot harder to explain why he was using a fax machine while driving. Indeed, the mayor seemed embarrassed by the whole situation. “I’ll be honest with you” he said, “I photocopied my ass at the office and I was faxing a picture of it to Adam Vaughan. We love to play pranks like that on each other. For instance, he’ll vote against all my budget cuts, which is hilarious, and then I’ll fax him a copy of my ass.” Mr. Vaughan, however, says that he voted against the budget cuts because he honestly doesn’t believe in them, a claim that had the mayor in hysterics. The councillor did admit to pulling the occassional prank on Mr. Ford, though. “Just last week I was finishing off a wonderful painting of the mayor and his brother as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum when some prick called the cops on me.”
New questions for the mayor arose when Mr. Vaughan told reporters that he doesn’t even have a fax machine. “Well then who the hell did I send the picture of my ass to?” asked the mayor when informed of this news. Reports that the picture is now framed and hangs in Mr. Mammoliti’s office were confirmed by several City Hall insiders.
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