Vows to stop the Gravity Train.
Things have taken an unusal turn at City Hall in recent days. It all started when Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair announced that he is unable to cut 10% from the police operating budget as requested by the city. Instead, Mr. Blair is asking for an increase in 2012 instead. Michael Thompson, vice-chair of Police Services Board, responded by suggesting that Mr. Blair may lose his job over the request and also pointed out that the city is asking all of it’s departments to reduce their budget by 10% and the police would be no exception. When Chief Blair said that such a significant cut would result in lay-offs, Mr. Thompson accused him of ’playing the fear game’. “Actually” responded the chief, “I’m playing the math game.”
In May, 2011 the Police Board approved an 11.5 percent wage increase over 4 years for police officers. This means that the police now have to be paid more with less money. Chief Blair claims that when he pointed out to the mayor that the task is mathematically impossible, Mr. Ford responded with “I’m the mayor, damn it! Make it possible.” Things got worse, however, when the chief asked sarcastically if the mayor would like him to reduce the law of gravity by 10% as well that. “The mayor was immediately sold on the idea” said the Mr. Blair, “he said that it would certainly make getting up from his chair a lot easier and asked me to start looking into it immediately.”
Mr. Ford and his brother Doug held a news conference to announce the city’s plans. “We feel this will make life easier for all of our citizens” said the mayor, “from just getting out of bed in the morning to the Raptors finally making the playoffs, things are looking up!” When they were asked to explain exactly how they’d go about doing something that everyone from Einstein to Isaac Newton would call impossible, Doug Ford scoffed “Well, good luck to Isaac Newton. I don’t even know him. If he walked by me, I wouldn’t have a clue who he is.”
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