“Ontario doesn’t want a Premier with the cooties!”

  While defending a questionable flyer that was issued and distributed by the Ontario Conservatives, Tim Hudak let it slip that he once “totally saw McGuinty kissing a girl in public”.  Now he finds himself having to deny claims that he’s a “total prude”, as McGuinty called him in a press conference yesterday.  “I am not a prude at all” claimed Mr. Hudak, “it’s just that I would prefer to see the Premier of our province conduct himself with a little more decorum”.

  The accusation that he lacked decorum seemed to upset Mr. McGuinty who said that the girl that he was kissing was his wife and “Tim is just jealous because he’s never kissed a girl”.  Mr. Hudak was quick to respond that he’s kissed plenty of girls and also claimed “I once got to second base with Andrea Horwath”, something that the NDP was quick to deny.  Mr. McGuinty reacted with stunned disbelief to the statement, asking reporters “She let him touch her tatas?!”  When the question was put to Mr. Hudak, however, he seemed confused and had to ask for clarification on what exactly ‘second base’ is.

  After the day’s events concluded, Ben Shenouda, the Progressive Conservative candidate for Brampton West, admitted to the media that perhaps he was mistaken, and sex-ed should start a little earlier in our schools.

Just in case it’s not obvious, I’d like to point out that this article and all articles on this site are intended as satire.  All articles are fiction and fake news.